Update on my prayer session

Thanks to all who prayed. And apologies it took so long for me to update here. For those interested in the details of the session mechanics/particulars, see below. For people who want just the update, here goes.

There were two folks who led me through an intercessary prayer session over a zoom call. They didn’t counsel, and they didn’t do healing nor verbally lead me through any kind of sequence nor ritual. I thought it might be more structured that way. What they did after getting to know me a little bit was pray silently, invited me to do the same and create space for the Holy Spirit to show. After a very brief time me waiting (maybe 10-20 seconds?), this happened.

In prayer, I see a room that’s pretty general and not special in any way.  Jesus is there talking with me as two friends would.

Jesus: (in a curious way, wanting to understand/connect) “Why do you carry around those burdens?  They seem very heavy.”

Me: “I have to – it’s how I show I’m worthy, right?”

Jesus: “Why would you want to carry them, when I can do that for you?  I see you’re buckling under the weight.”

Me: “You would do that, for me?”

Jesus: “Don’t you know I would do that?  I’ve asked before, several times, but you haven’t yet been willing to give them to me.”

Me: “Yeah, well… I am tired of carrying them.  I can’t carry these any more.  They’re too much for me.  I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

Jesus: “I miss you when you’re not here.  And I feel like I miss out when we don’t connect.”

Me: I see the pain in his eyes, and hear the hurt in his voice.  Not judgment, not anger, not a king on a throne ready to crack the whip, but a friend sitting beside me, that I’ve ignored for a long, long time.  fade to sobbing…

Are you freaking kidding me?  God misses me.  He wants to spend time with ME.  He feels sad when I don’t connect with Him.   Woah.

So yeah, I’m sobbing.

Shortly after, my feeling is the deep, deep satisfied feeling you get with a hot beverage wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, after being outside in the cold for a long time.  Or, after being in the ocean (cooler water) for a long time, and letting the sun warm you. Simply the most content and relaxed feeling.

So here’s my crazy final takeaway from this – I can snuggle up close to God!! A month ago that would have sounded (completely) heretical to me. Yet there it is.

For those interested in the mechanics, I registered for a session at https://osltoday.org . There is no cost, and the process is pretty simple. There is no sermonizing, no requests for donations, just a simple virtual prayer room.