Update on my prayer session

Thanks to all who prayed. And apologies it took so long for me to update here. For those interested in the details of the session mechanics/particulars, see below. For people who want just the update, here goes.

There were two folks who led me through an intercessary prayer session over a zoom call. They didn’t counsel, and they didn’t do healing nor verbally lead me through any kind of sequence nor ritual. I thought it might be more structured that way. What they did after getting to know me a little bit was pray silently, invited me to do the same and create space for the Holy Spirit to show. After a very brief time me waiting (maybe 10-20 seconds?), this happened.

In prayer, I see a room that’s pretty general and not special in any way.  Jesus is there talking with me as two friends would.

Jesus: (in a curious way, wanting to understand/connect) “Why do you carry around those burdens?  They seem very heavy.”

Me: “I have to – it’s how I show I’m worthy, right?”

Jesus: “Why would you want to carry them, when I can do that for you?  I see you’re buckling under the weight.”

Me: “You would do that, for me?”

Jesus: “Don’t you know I would do that?  I’ve asked before, several times, but you haven’t yet been willing to give them to me.”

Me: “Yeah, well… I am tired of carrying them.  I can’t carry these any more.  They’re too much for me.  I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

Jesus: “I miss you when you’re not here.  And I feel like I miss out when we don’t connect.”

Me: I see the pain in his eyes, and hear the hurt in his voice.  Not judgment, not anger, not a king on a throne ready to crack the whip, but a friend sitting beside me, that I’ve ignored for a long, long time.  fade to sobbing…

Are you freaking kidding me?  God misses me.  He wants to spend time with ME.  He feels sad when I don’t connect with Him.   Woah.

So yeah, I’m sobbing.

Shortly after, my feeling is the deep, deep satisfied feeling you get with a hot beverage wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, after being outside in the cold for a long time.  Or, after being in the ocean (cooler water) for a long time, and letting the sun warm you. Simply the most content and relaxed feeling.

So here’s my crazy final takeaway from this – I can snuggle up close to God!! A month ago that would have sounded (completely) heretical to me. Yet there it is.

For those interested in the mechanics, I registered for a session at https://osltoday.org . There is no cost, and the process is pretty simple. There is no sermonizing, no requests for donations, just a simple virtual prayer room.

Request for prayer

Hello all.  I’m asking for prayer if you think of it.  Tomorrow (Thursday) at 5pm PDT.  I am having a stranger pray for my healing from an orphaned spirit.  I arrived here working on a fundamental intimacy/connection problem that I have.  Here’s just one link for what an orphaned spirt might look like.  I hope over coming days to expand on this a bit here, so we’ll see how that goes.  I hope over coming days to expand on this a bit here, so we’ll see how that goes.  This is in contrast to a biblical spirit of sonship.

11 Contrasting Traits between an Orphan Spirit and a Spirit of Sonship

Here are the characteristics pulled from that link.

  1. The orphan spirit operates out of insecurity and jealousy. The spirit of sonship functions out of love and acceptance.
    • Some, certainly insecurity
  2. The orphan spirit is jealous of the success of his brothers. The mature son is committed to the success of his brothers.
    • I don’t think so. (But maybe, if I dig all the way down to bare metal honesty?)
  3. The orphan spirit serves God to earn the Father’s love. The mature son serves God out of a sense of divine acceptance and favor.
    • 100% me.
  4. The orphan spirit tries to medicate his deep internal alienation through physical stimulation. The mature son walks in the joy and presence of the Lord for comfort.
    • Me.
  5. The orphan spirit is driven by the need for success. The Spirit leads the mature son into his calling and mission.
    • Again, me.
  6. The orphan spirit uses people as objects to fulfill their goals. Mature sons serve people to bless the kingdom.
    1. Oh God be merciful to me, this is me.
  7. The orphan spirit repels their children. The spirit of sonship attracts their children.
    1. Ugh.  me.
  8. The orphan spirit has issues with anger and fits of rage. The spirit of sonship rests in the Father’s ability to control and guide their future.
    1. I try it hide it very well, but me.
  9. The orphan spirit is always in competition with others. The spirit of sonship is always blessing others.
    1. Me – at least I’m not 9 for 9. (Not that I’m competing.)
  10. The orphan spirit has a lack of self-esteem. The spirit of sonship walks in the love and acceptance of Father God.
    1. Yeah, dang it.
  11. The orphan spirit receives their primary identity through material possessions, their physical appearance, and activities. The spirit of sonship has their identity grounded in their sonship and their Father’s affirmation.
    1. If you add achievements to this list, then me.  I’m certainly not the spirt of sonship one.